AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
