Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I had to cum in my sink.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
