a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize