Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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