I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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