I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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