i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
