I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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