belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
