I'm eating all of the evidence.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
