ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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