Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
