Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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