I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
