I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
