I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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