I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
