i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
