i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize