Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
