i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
