can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
