I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
