I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
