so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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