barbara walters just said penis...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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