i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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