i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize