Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
