How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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