dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
