is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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