butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
