I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
