My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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