That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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