the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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