Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
