Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The adults are the big ones right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
