I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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