Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
