Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
