I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
