I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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