Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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