This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize