She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
