Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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