there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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