Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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