i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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