I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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