He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize