Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
