i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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