I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
