I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
