you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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