There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
