I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
